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All Quiet in Week 6

Weekly Report Posted: May 04, 2024 16:14  

No news has been reported this week.

Disaster

Reporter #1: Coach talk about the game for us

Casey: You think you're funny you little girl, huh? Throw on a skirt you sally, you can't play this game! Who do you think you are?! We freaking had this game

Reporter #2: You did?

Casey: Shut the fuck up. Clemson was who we thought they were, okay?! If you wanna crown their asses then crown their ass! They were who we thought they were!

Reporter #3: What was the key to losing to the kings?

Casey: A couple of son of a bitches that I'd like to refer to as asshole 1 and asshole 2. Asshole 1 being Micah Andrews and his fantastic 2 fumbles, nice work jackass. Then, and holy cow, this guy lost the game for us. Willie Idlitte or whatever his name is, 5 drops, 3 on the last drive, the last fucking drive! Revoke his scholarship! Who the hell drops the ball 5 times?! The Clemson secondary was weak, they were who we thought they were!

Reporter #4: Coach, there are rumors that your 2nd half playcalling came into question, did you even care?

Casey: You too, wiseass, can put on a skirt. Did I even care?! Are you serious?! Let me tell you somethin' son.

YOU PLAY. TO WIN. THE GAME.

YOU PLAY. TO WIN. THE GAME.

Next question

Reporter #1: Aren't you limiting this team's ability to do greater things?

Look kid, first off, I told you to go put a skirt on, don't ever ask me another fucking question again. Let me make something clear to you. This is Wake Forest, okay? Wake, fucking, Forest. Wake Forest man, Wake Forest. I can't work miracles here, it's going to take time. We almost beat a damn good football team, but instead we chose to beat a shitty one, ourselves. More drills, more recruiting, maybe we can get some players in here to receive. My 3 year old son has a pretty good relationship with Mauk - he catches the balls Ben throws to him... maybe he should suit up.

Son of a bitch, man.

No more questions, I'm gonna go have a beer or 12

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