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All Quiet in Week 4

Weekly Report Posted: May 19, 2024 03:07  

No news has been reported this week.

Sloppy, yet Satisfying

We're here at the after game press conference with Coach DeLoye.

Reporter #1- "So Coach how did you feel about this victory?"

DeLoye- "Sucked. We played like total shit. We didn't deserve to win that game."

Reporter #1- "But the stats show that you were only forced to punt the ball once and Ole Miss never reached the red zone"

DeLoye- "Then you wanna explain to me how they scored 21 f@#$ing points?! And another thing pretty boy, you don't need to punt when you turn the ball over inside the 30 twice. Next question."

Reporter #2- "Coach, rumor has it that your offensive captain at right tackle got caught in the women's volleyball locker room while receiving head from 4 different players. Was he suspended from the team?"

DeLoye- "You're damn right he was suspended! He beat my record of 3. That record has stood for 20 years and I felt 3 games was an appropriate punishment for his actions."

Reporter #2- "How do you plan on preparing for next week's matchup against Tennessee?"

DeLoye- "Lots of lube. Any further questions?"

On that note DeLoye let the room full of reporters who jaws were now on the ground after what they had just heard. Also in other news around the league, Brady Quinn suffered a ruptured uterus and will be out for the next 4 weeks until his next cycle can kick in.

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